I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My penis needs a shock collar
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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