You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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