Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
