You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
