i jhust puked up my retainher.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
