In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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