Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
sex in a hospital.. check
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize