cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
