Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
