We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im holly from the hills drunk
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
