having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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