brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize