I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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