Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
