He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
