We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
