i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
