return my video game
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
