How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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