After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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