drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize