oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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