Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
