pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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