There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize