covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
