taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
