did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
