I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
