Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
