lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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