idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
