I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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