this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
