It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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