Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
