he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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