Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
