I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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