Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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