the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
