What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
