You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
