Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
