I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
