soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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