i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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