it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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