Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
