We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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