My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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