its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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