Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
