he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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