Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
