I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
