I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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