Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
