tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
