Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize