alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
