Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
