If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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