your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
