i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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