Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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