I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
