Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize