I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
