You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize