She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
