But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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