Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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