You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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