She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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