I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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