Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
