I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize