didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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