Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Alive.
So much puke
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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