Jerry, you need to find god
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
